Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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