White coat. Heels.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize