Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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