party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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