Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
