Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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