I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize