Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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