I just pynch a tree in the face
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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