Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
