so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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