His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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