Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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