i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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