the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
