I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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