either way he was missing a nipple.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
