My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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