i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
