jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
