totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
