Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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