There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
