the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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