Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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