its not stalking. its research.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
