i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
