i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
