I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize