I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
