I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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