I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
