just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
