I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
