if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
