Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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