Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
