Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
