nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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