What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
