my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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