You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
