With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
