No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
