were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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