Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
