bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize