I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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