called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
