Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just pee around me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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