maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
