You don't have asthma, your pregnant
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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