After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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