Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
