I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He shit in the fireplace
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
