He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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