then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
