Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
