Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
