is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
