he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
