they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
