If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
