dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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