Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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