last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
