Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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