and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize