Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
