Swine flu. Run for my life!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
