i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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