His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
