I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
