One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
