hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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