i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
