he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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