just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
