I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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