it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
