you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
