so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you still have your period?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
